almost got molested

I was at a bar in downtown Austin, TX. All of a sudden, Andy Dick was there and I was talking to him about God knows what. For some reason I thought he had cocaine and thought we were about to go do a line in the bathroom. Because who doesn't wanna say they did cocaine w/ a celebrity? So anyway, next thing I know Andy Dick is reaching down my pants trying to grab my dick. I make a break for the door and he tries to pull me back by my arm. His body guard says, "Now Andy, no pulling." He then lets me go and go back to my friends. And that's the day I almost got molested by Andy Dick. Also, it's the day I stopped making rape jokes.
3 Comments
R
radovast
4 August 03:21am

lmao... wtf... cool (not true) story bro

EV
Emmanuel Varnas
14 March 01:06am

what a dick lol

T
Th3l0n10u5
16 March 17:26pm

Philip Haldiman?

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templates/partials/sidebar/story

                        
templates/partials/sidebar/randomCelebrity

                        
templates/partials/sidebar/tags

                        
templates/partials/comments

                        
templates/forms/textarea

                        
templates/forms/hidden

                        
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module/story/templates/story

                        
templates/partials/cookies

                        
/templates/partials/modal

                        
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CMS Edit: Module: navigation - Home - ID: 5653

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CMS Edit: Module: celebrity - Andy Dick - ID: 28

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CMS Edit: Module: tag - Comedian - ID: 85

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CMS Edit: Module: tag - Athlete - ID: 9

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CMS Edit: Module: tag - Journalist - ID: 36

CMS Edit: Module: tag - Designer - ID: 86

CMS Edit: Module: tag - Adult Film Actor - ID: 2

CMS Edit: Module: tag - Quarterback - ID: 53

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CMS Edit: Module: tag - Football Player - ID: 29

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CMS Edit: Module: tag - Hip Hop Artist - ID: 32

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CMS Edit: Module: tag - Soul Singer - ID: 65

CMS Edit: Module: comment - lmao... wtf... cool (not true) story bro - ID: 395

CMS Edit: Module: comment - what a dick lol - ID: 656

CMS Edit: Module: comment - Philip Haldiman? - ID: 911

Loaded functions
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deletedirectoryfiles
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checkfileexists
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format_date
return_html_attributes
alphanumeric
reindexlist
urlstring
getpathvalue
getrequeststring
debug
ppr
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get_module_class
template
Queries run (14)
Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/core/site.php, Line:60
Class: module\navigation\navigation Function: getNavigation
SELECT `navigation`.`nid`, `navigation`.`parent_id`, `navigation`.`name`, `navigation`.`url`, `navigation`.`created`, `navigation`.`parent_id`, `navigation`.`position`, `navigation`.`created`, `navigation`.`updated`
FROM navigation
ORDER BY navigation.position ASC

Parameters:

Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/core/site.php, Line:62
Class: module\navigation_footer\navigation_footer Function: getNavigation
SELECT `navigation_footer`.`nfid`, `navigation_footer`.`name`, `navigation_footer`.`url`, `navigation_footer`.`created`, `navigation_footer`.`position`, `navigation_footer`.`created`, `navigation_footer`.`updated`
FROM navigation_footer
ORDER BY navigation_footer.position ASC

Parameters:

Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:36
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: get_single
SELECT `story`.`sid`, `story`.`name`, `story`.`content`, `story`.`rating`, `story`.`author`, `story`.`ip`, `story`.`email`, `story`.`approved`, `story`.`check_true`, `story`.`temp_name`, `story`.`email_sent`, `story`.`highlighted`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`updated`, `story`.`celebrity_id`, `story`.`published`, `story`.`deleted`
FROM story
WHERE `story`.`sid` = :story_sid AND `story`.`published` = :story_published AND `story`.`deleted` = :story_deleted
ORDER BY story.created DESC
LIMIT 1

Parameters:
story_sid: 337
story_published: 1
story_deleted: 0

Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:46
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: get_single
SELECT `celebrity`.`cid`, `celebrity`.`name`, `celebrity`.`dob`, `celebrity`.`image_source`, `celebrity`.`featured`, `celebrity`.`known`, `celebrity`.`nice_percent`, `celebrity`.`mean_percent`, `celebrity`.`ok_percent`, `celebrity`.`slug`, `celebrity`.`updated`, `celebrity`.`story_count`, `celebrity`.`created`, `celebrity`.`updated`, `celebrity`.`published`, `celebrity`.`deleted`
FROM celebrity
WHERE `celebrity`.`cid` = :celebrity_cid AND `celebrity`.`published` = :celebrity_published AND `celebrity`.`deleted` = :celebrity_deleted
ORDER BY celebrity.created DESC
LIMIT 1

Parameters:
celebrity_cid: 28
celebrity_published: 1
celebrity_deleted: 0

Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:46
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: getLinked
SELECT `story`.`sid`, `story`.`name`, `story`.`content`, `story`.`rating`, `story`.`author`, `story`.`ip`, `story`.`email`, `story`.`approved`, `story`.`check_true`, `story`.`temp_name`, `story`.`email_sent`, `story`.`highlighted`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`updated`, `story`.`celebrity_id`, `story`.`celebrity_id`, `story`.`published`, `story`.`deleted`
FROM story
WHERE `story`.`published` = :story_published AND `story`.`deleted` = :story_deleted AND `story`.`celebrity_id` IN (:where_in__storycelebrity_id_0)
ORDER BY story.created DESC

Parameters:
story_published: 1
story_deleted: 0
where_in__storycelebrity_id_0: 28

Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:46
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: getLinked
SELECT `tag`.`tid`, `tag`.`name`, `tag`.`slug`, `tag`.`created`, `tag`.`updated`, `tag_celebrity`.`cid`
FROM tag JOIN tag_celebrity ON `tag_celebrity`.`tid` = `tag`.`tid`
WHERE `tag_celebrity`.`cid` IN (:where_in__tag_celebritycid_0)
ORDER BY tag.created DESC

Parameters:
where_in__tag_celebritycid_0: 28

Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:73
Class: classes\getHtml\latestStories Function: getSidebarHtml
SELECT `story`.`sid`, `story`.`name`, `story`.`content`, `story`.`rating`, `story`.`author`, `story`.`ip`, `story`.`email`, `story`.`approved`, `story`.`check_true`, `story`.`temp_name`, `story`.`email_sent`, `story`.`highlighted`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`updated`, `story`.`celebrity_id`, `story`.`published`, `story`.`deleted`
FROM story
WHERE `story`.`published` = :story_published AND `story`.`deleted` = :story_deleted AND sid NOT IN (:where_not_in__sid_0)
ORDER BY created DESC
LIMIT 3

Parameters:
story_published: 1
story_deleted: 0
where_not_in__sid_0: 337

Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:74
Class: classes\getHtml\randomCelebrity Function: getSidebarHtml
SELECT `celebrity`.`cid`, `celebrity`.`name`, `celebrity`.`dob`, `celebrity`.`image_source`, `celebrity`.`featured`, `celebrity`.`known`, `celebrity`.`nice_percent`, `celebrity`.`mean_percent`, `celebrity`.`ok_percent`, `celebrity`.`slug`, `celebrity`.`updated`, `celebrity`.`story_count`, `celebrity`.`created`, `celebrity`.`updated`, `celebrity`.`published`, `celebrity`.`deleted`
FROM celebrity
WHERE `celebrity`.`published` = :celebrity_published AND `celebrity`.`deleted` = :celebrity_deleted AND cid NOT IN (:where_not_in__cid_0)
ORDER BY RAND()
LIMIT 3

Parameters:
celebrity_published: 1
celebrity_deleted: 0
where_not_in__cid_0: 28

Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:75
Class: classes\getHtml\tags Function: getSidebarHtml
SELECT `tag`.`tid`, `tag`.`name`, `tag`.`slug`, `tag`.`created`, `tag`.`updated`, count(tag_celebrity.tid) AS count
FROM tag
RIGHT JOIN tag_celebrity ON tag.tid = tag_celebrity.tid
GROUP BY tag_celebrity.tid
ORDER BY count DESC

Parameters:

Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/comment/comment.php, Line:54
Class: module\comment\comment Function: getComments
SELECT `comment`.`cid`, `comment`.`name`, `comment`.`message`, `comment`.`message_uncensored`, `comment`.`ghost_comment`, `comment`.`spam`, `comment`.`anonymous`, `comment`.`created`, `comment`.`author_name`, `comment`.`parent_id`, `comment`.`created`, `comment`.`updated`, `comment`.`uid`, `comment`.`sid`, `comment`.`published`, `comment`.`deleted`
FROM comment
WHERE `comment`.`sid` = :comment_sid AND `comment`.`published` = :comment_published AND `comment`.`deleted` = :comment_deleted
ORDER BY created ASC

Parameters:
comment_sid: 337
comment_published: 1
comment_deleted: 0

Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/comment/comment.php, Line:23
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: getLinked
SELECT `user`.`uid`, `user`.`name`, `user`.`email`, `user`.`password`, `user`.`password_reset_key`, `user`.`password_reset_ts`, `user`.`last_login`, `user`.`email_verified`, `user`.`email_verification_key`, `user`.`ip`, `user`.`created`, `user`.`updated`, `user`.`uid`, `user`.`published`
FROM user
WHERE `user`.`published` = :user_published AND `user`.`uid` IN (:where_in__useruid_0, :where_in__useruid_1, :where_in__useruid_2)
ORDER BY user.created DESC

Parameters:
user_published: 1
where_in__useruid_0:
where_in__useruid_1:
where_in__useruid_2:

Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/comment/comment.php, Line:24
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: getLinked
SELECT `comment_flag`.`cfid`, `comment_flag`.`reason`, `comment_flag`.`ip`, `comment_flag`.`created`, `comment_flag`.`updated`, `comment_flag`.`cid`, `comment_flag`.`uid`, `comment_flag`.`cid`
FROM comment_flag
WHERE `comment_flag`.`cid` IN (:where_in__comment_flagcid_0, :where_in__comment_flagcid_1, :where_in__comment_flagcid_2)
ORDER BY comment_flag.created DESC

Parameters:
where_in__comment_flagcid_0: 395
where_in__comment_flagcid_1: 656
where_in__comment_flagcid_2: 911

SELECT count(comment_child.cid) AS total_comments

FROM comment AS comment_child
LEFT JOIN comment AS comment_parent ON comment_child.parent_id = comment_parent.cid
WHERE (comment_parent.deleted = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id IS NULL) AND comment_child.deleted = 0 AND comment_child.spam = 0 AND comment_child.published = 1 AND comment_child.sid = 337

Parameters:

SELECT count(comment_child.cid) AS total_comments

FROM comment AS comment_child
LEFT JOIN comment AS comment_parent ON comment_child.parent_id = comment_parent.cid
WHERE (comment_parent.deleted = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id IS NULL) AND comment_child.deleted = 0 AND comment_child.spam = 0 AND comment_child.published = 1 AND comment_child.sid = 337

Parameters:

Sessions
debug
Array
(
    [queries_run] => Array
        (
            [0] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/core/site.php, Line:60
Class: module\navigation\navigation Function: getNavigation
SELECT `navigation`.`nid`, `navigation`.`parent_id`, `navigation`.`name`, `navigation`.`url`, `navigation`.`created`, `navigation`.`parent_id`, `navigation`.`position`, `navigation`.`created`, `navigation`.`updated`
FROM navigation
ORDER BY navigation.position ASC

Parameters: [1] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/core/site.php, Line:62
Class: module\navigation_footer\navigation_footer Function: getNavigation
SELECT `navigation_footer`.`nfid`, `navigation_footer`.`name`, `navigation_footer`.`url`, `navigation_footer`.`created`, `navigation_footer`.`position`, `navigation_footer`.`created`, `navigation_footer`.`updated`
FROM navigation_footer
ORDER BY navigation_footer.position ASC

Parameters: [2] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:36
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: get_single
SELECT `story`.`sid`, `story`.`name`, `story`.`content`, `story`.`rating`, `story`.`author`, `story`.`ip`, `story`.`email`, `story`.`approved`, `story`.`check_true`, `story`.`temp_name`, `story`.`email_sent`, `story`.`highlighted`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`updated`, `story`.`celebrity_id`, `story`.`published`, `story`.`deleted`
FROM story
WHERE `story`.`sid` = :story_sid AND `story`.`published` = :story_published AND `story`.`deleted` = :story_deleted
ORDER BY story.created DESC
LIMIT 1

Parameters:
story_sid: 337
story_published: 1
story_deleted: 0 [3] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:46
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: get_single
SELECT `celebrity`.`cid`, `celebrity`.`name`, `celebrity`.`dob`, `celebrity`.`image_source`, `celebrity`.`featured`, `celebrity`.`known`, `celebrity`.`nice_percent`, `celebrity`.`mean_percent`, `celebrity`.`ok_percent`, `celebrity`.`slug`, `celebrity`.`updated`, `celebrity`.`story_count`, `celebrity`.`created`, `celebrity`.`updated`, `celebrity`.`published`, `celebrity`.`deleted`
FROM celebrity
WHERE `celebrity`.`cid` = :celebrity_cid AND `celebrity`.`published` = :celebrity_published AND `celebrity`.`deleted` = :celebrity_deleted
ORDER BY celebrity.created DESC
LIMIT 1

Parameters:
celebrity_cid: 28
celebrity_published: 1
celebrity_deleted: 0 [4] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:46
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: getLinked
SELECT `story`.`sid`, `story`.`name`, `story`.`content`, `story`.`rating`, `story`.`author`, `story`.`ip`, `story`.`email`, `story`.`approved`, `story`.`check_true`, `story`.`temp_name`, `story`.`email_sent`, `story`.`highlighted`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`updated`, `story`.`celebrity_id`, `story`.`celebrity_id`, `story`.`published`, `story`.`deleted`
FROM story
WHERE `story`.`published` = :story_published AND `story`.`deleted` = :story_deleted AND `story`.`celebrity_id` IN (:where_in__storycelebrity_id_0)
ORDER BY story.created DESC

Parameters:
story_published: 1
story_deleted: 0
where_in__storycelebrity_id_0: 28 [5] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:46
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: getLinked
SELECT `tag`.`tid`, `tag`.`name`, `tag`.`slug`, `tag`.`created`, `tag`.`updated`, `tag_celebrity`.`cid`
FROM tag JOIN tag_celebrity ON `tag_celebrity`.`tid` = `tag`.`tid`
WHERE `tag_celebrity`.`cid` IN (:where_in__tag_celebritycid_0)
ORDER BY tag.created DESC

Parameters:
where_in__tag_celebritycid_0: 28 [6] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:73
Class: classes\getHtml\latestStories Function: getSidebarHtml
SELECT `story`.`sid`, `story`.`name`, `story`.`content`, `story`.`rating`, `story`.`author`, `story`.`ip`, `story`.`email`, `story`.`approved`, `story`.`check_true`, `story`.`temp_name`, `story`.`email_sent`, `story`.`highlighted`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`updated`, `story`.`celebrity_id`, `story`.`published`, `story`.`deleted`
FROM story
WHERE `story`.`published` = :story_published AND `story`.`deleted` = :story_deleted AND sid NOT IN (:where_not_in__sid_0)
ORDER BY created DESC
LIMIT 3

Parameters:
story_published: 1
story_deleted: 0
where_not_in__sid_0: 337 [7] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:74
Class: classes\getHtml\randomCelebrity Function: getSidebarHtml
SELECT `celebrity`.`cid`, `celebrity`.`name`, `celebrity`.`dob`, `celebrity`.`image_source`, `celebrity`.`featured`, `celebrity`.`known`, `celebrity`.`nice_percent`, `celebrity`.`mean_percent`, `celebrity`.`ok_percent`, `celebrity`.`slug`, `celebrity`.`updated`, `celebrity`.`story_count`, `celebrity`.`created`, `celebrity`.`updated`, `celebrity`.`published`, `celebrity`.`deleted`
FROM celebrity
WHERE `celebrity`.`published` = :celebrity_published AND `celebrity`.`deleted` = :celebrity_deleted AND cid NOT IN (:where_not_in__cid_0)
ORDER BY RAND()
LIMIT 3

Parameters:
celebrity_published: 1
celebrity_deleted: 0
where_not_in__cid_0: 28 [8] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:75
Class: classes\getHtml\tags Function: getSidebarHtml
SELECT `tag`.`tid`, `tag`.`name`, `tag`.`slug`, `tag`.`created`, `tag`.`updated`, count(tag_celebrity.tid) AS count
FROM tag
RIGHT JOIN tag_celebrity ON tag.tid = tag_celebrity.tid
GROUP BY tag_celebrity.tid
ORDER BY count DESC

Parameters: [9] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/comment/comment.php, Line:54
Class: module\comment\comment Function: getComments
SELECT `comment`.`cid`, `comment`.`name`, `comment`.`message`, `comment`.`message_uncensored`, `comment`.`ghost_comment`, `comment`.`spam`, `comment`.`anonymous`, `comment`.`created`, `comment`.`author_name`, `comment`.`parent_id`, `comment`.`created`, `comment`.`updated`, `comment`.`uid`, `comment`.`sid`, `comment`.`published`, `comment`.`deleted`
FROM comment
WHERE `comment`.`sid` = :comment_sid AND `comment`.`published` = :comment_published AND `comment`.`deleted` = :comment_deleted
ORDER BY created ASC

Parameters:
comment_sid: 337
comment_published: 1
comment_deleted: 0 [10] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/comment/comment.php, Line:23
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: getLinked
SELECT `user`.`uid`, `user`.`name`, `user`.`email`, `user`.`password`, `user`.`password_reset_key`, `user`.`password_reset_ts`, `user`.`last_login`, `user`.`email_verified`, `user`.`email_verification_key`, `user`.`ip`, `user`.`created`, `user`.`updated`, `user`.`uid`, `user`.`published`
FROM user
WHERE `user`.`published` = :user_published AND `user`.`uid` IN (:where_in__useruid_0, :where_in__useruid_1, :where_in__useruid_2)
ORDER BY user.created DESC

Parameters:
user_published: 1
where_in__useruid_0:
where_in__useruid_1:
where_in__useruid_2: [11] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/comment/comment.php, Line:24
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: getLinked
SELECT `comment_flag`.`cfid`, `comment_flag`.`reason`, `comment_flag`.`ip`, `comment_flag`.`created`, `comment_flag`.`updated`, `comment_flag`.`cid`, `comment_flag`.`uid`, `comment_flag`.`cid`
FROM comment_flag
WHERE `comment_flag`.`cid` IN (:where_in__comment_flagcid_0, :where_in__comment_flagcid_1, :where_in__comment_flagcid_2)
ORDER BY comment_flag.created DESC

Parameters:
where_in__comment_flagcid_0: 395
where_in__comment_flagcid_1: 656
where_in__comment_flagcid_2: 911 [12] => SELECT count(comment_child.cid) AS total_comments
FROM comment AS comment_child
LEFT JOIN comment AS comment_parent ON comment_child.parent_id = comment_parent.cid
WHERE (comment_parent.deleted = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id IS NULL) AND comment_child.deleted = 0 AND comment_child.spam = 0 AND comment_child.published = 1 AND comment_child.sid = 337

Parameters: [13] => SELECT count(comment_child.cid) AS total_comments
FROM comment AS comment_child
LEFT JOIN comment AS comment_parent ON comment_child.parent_id = comment_parent.cid
WHERE (comment_parent.deleted = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id IS NULL) AND comment_child.deleted = 0 AND comment_child.spam = 0 AND comment_child.published = 1 AND comment_child.sid = 337

Parameters: ) )

forms
Array
(
    [leavecommentform] => Array
        (
            [token] => 2b78474a102d33ae5a38a058632ad4b1
        )

)