John Cleese

Ask him questions

A few years ago, John Cleese was having a show to raise money past his divorce. Show was great, personal anecdotes, bashing the ex and marriage in general (it was fun, I'm not anti marriage, just to clear that up). At the end of the show, he had a session where the audience would come up to a mic and ask him questions. My friends and I had gallery seats, and it took some time to gather up the courage to go down there, so I had to run. Ran trough the theater, down the stairs, and made it to the line on the mic. Most of the other guy (and gals) had some decent question, such as "My best friend just got married, got any advice?" To wich Cleece screams "PRE-NUP!!" When the guy says that's too late, Cleese just starts laughing at the guy. It was quite intimidating for a 20 year old..... So, my turn! I had already decided on my questions, we had two questions that we used for interviews at a uni-newspaper to test creativity and general sense of humour. So I ask Cleese if I can ask him two short questions, he promptly answers that I only get one shot. So I pick the best one: "What torture instrument do you identify with the most, and why?" Cleese's face lights up, and he cracks up, letting a whole new crazy laugh out, while he stammers "C-c-orkscrew!!". Now, I'm about to walk away, laughing myself, but then he says "Okay, fire up the second one". Now I get nervous! I just made John Cleese burst out laughing in front of a few hundred people, this is going to flop like a dead baby seal..... So, the second question: "If you were a part of an airplane, what part would you be?". Sure, not a crazy question, the first one nets better responses, but Cleese really outdid himself. He pauses a bit, builds up a grin, and says: "The JOY!--stick!". And keeps laughing while I silently move away from the microphone with a giant grin!
Source
2 Mar
4 Comments
Rated:
NICE
4 Comments
JM
Jim Mcdonough
30 January 19:27pm

Awesome

P
Pat
11 April 21:37pm

The airplane question, I recognize it.. Were you the guy who asked Kevin Smith the same question in one of his QnA's?

CS
Chris Simpson
19 December 05:39am

Was this in Durham, NC?

V
Vasilas
8 October 12:18pm

Cleese actually mentions the Airplane question as one of the best that anyone ever asked him!

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SELECT `story`.`sid`, `story`.`name`, `story`.`content`, `story`.`rating`, `story`.`author`, `story`.`ip`, `story`.`email`, `story`.`approved`, `story`.`check_true`, `story`.`temp_name`, `story`.`email_sent`, `story`.`highlighted`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`updated`, `story`.`celebrity_id`, `story`.`celebrity_id`, `story`.`published`, `story`.`deleted` 
FROM story 
WHERE `story`.`published` = :story_published  AND `story`.`deleted` = :story_deleted  AND `story`.`celebrity_id` IN (:where_in__storycelebrity_id_0) 
ORDER BY story.created DESC
Parameters:
story_published: 1
story_deleted: 0
where_in__storycelebrity_id_0: 113

                                    
Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:46
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: getLinked
SELECT `tag`.`tid`, `tag`.`name`, `tag`.`slug`, `tag`.`created`, `tag`.`updated`, `tag_celebrity`.`cid` 
FROM tag  JOIN tag_celebrity ON `tag_celebrity`.`tid` = `tag`.`tid` 
WHERE `tag_celebrity`.`cid` IN (:where_in__tag_celebritycid_0) 
ORDER BY tag.created DESC
Parameters:
where_in__tag_celebritycid_0: 113

                                    
Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:73
Class: classes\getHtml\latestStories Function: getSidebarHtml
SELECT `story`.`sid`, `story`.`name`, `story`.`content`, `story`.`rating`, `story`.`author`, `story`.`ip`, `story`.`email`, `story`.`approved`, `story`.`check_true`, `story`.`temp_name`, `story`.`email_sent`, `story`.`highlighted`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`updated`, `story`.`celebrity_id`, `story`.`published`, `story`.`deleted` 
FROM story 
WHERE `story`.`published` = :story_published  AND `story`.`deleted` = :story_deleted  AND sid NOT IN (:where_not_in__sid_0) 
ORDER BY created DESC 
LIMIT 3
Parameters:
story_published: 1
story_deleted: 0
where_not_in__sid_0: 152

                                    
Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:74
Class: classes\getHtml\randomCelebrity Function: getSidebarHtml
SELECT `celebrity`.`cid`, `celebrity`.`name`, `celebrity`.`dob`, `celebrity`.`image_source`, `celebrity`.`featured`, `celebrity`.`known`, `celebrity`.`nice_percent`, `celebrity`.`mean_percent`, `celebrity`.`ok_percent`, `celebrity`.`slug`, `celebrity`.`updated`, `celebrity`.`story_count`, `celebrity`.`created`, `celebrity`.`updated`, `celebrity`.`published`, `celebrity`.`deleted` 
FROM celebrity 
WHERE `celebrity`.`published` = :celebrity_published  AND `celebrity`.`deleted` = :celebrity_deleted  AND cid NOT IN (:where_not_in__cid_0) 
ORDER BY RAND() 
LIMIT 3
Parameters:
celebrity_published: 1
celebrity_deleted: 0
where_not_in__cid_0: 113

                                    
Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:75
Class: classes\getHtml\tags Function: getSidebarHtml
SELECT `tag`.`tid`, `tag`.`name`, `tag`.`slug`, `tag`.`created`, `tag`.`updated`, count(tag_celebrity.tid) AS count 
FROM tag 
RIGHT JOIN tag_celebrity ON tag.tid = tag_celebrity.tid 
GROUP BY tag_celebrity.tid 
ORDER BY count DESC
Parameters:

                                    
Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/comment/comment.php, Line:54
Class: module\comment\comment Function: getComments
SELECT `comment`.`cid`, `comment`.`name`, `comment`.`message`, `comment`.`message_uncensored`, `comment`.`ghost_comment`, `comment`.`spam`, `comment`.`anonymous`, `comment`.`created`, `comment`.`author_name`, `comment`.`parent_id`, `comment`.`created`, `comment`.`updated`, `comment`.`uid`, `comment`.`sid`, `comment`.`published`, `comment`.`deleted` 
FROM comment 
WHERE `comment`.`sid` = :comment_sid  AND `comment`.`published` = :comment_published  AND `comment`.`deleted` = :comment_deleted  
ORDER BY created ASC
Parameters:
comment_sid: 152
comment_published: 1
comment_deleted: 0

                                    
Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/comment/comment.php, Line:23
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: getLinked
SELECT `user`.`uid`, `user`.`name`, `user`.`email`, `user`.`password`, `user`.`password_reset_key`, `user`.`password_reset_ts`, `user`.`last_login`, `user`.`email_verified`, `user`.`email_verification_key`, `user`.`ip`, `user`.`created`, `user`.`updated`, `user`.`uid`, `user`.`published` 
FROM user 
WHERE `user`.`published` = :user_published  AND `user`.`uid` IN (:where_in__useruid_0, :where_in__useruid_1, :where_in__useruid_2, :where_in__useruid_3) 
ORDER BY user.created DESC
Parameters:
user_published: 1
where_in__useruid_0: 
where_in__useruid_1: 
where_in__useruid_2: 
where_in__useruid_3: 

                                    
Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/comment/comment.php, Line:24
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: getLinked
SELECT `comment_flag`.`cfid`, `comment_flag`.`reason`, `comment_flag`.`ip`, `comment_flag`.`created`, `comment_flag`.`updated`, `comment_flag`.`cid`, `comment_flag`.`uid`, `comment_flag`.`cid` 
FROM comment_flag 
WHERE `comment_flag`.`cid` IN (:where_in__comment_flagcid_0, :where_in__comment_flagcid_1, :where_in__comment_flagcid_2, :where_in__comment_flagcid_3) 
ORDER BY comment_flag.created DESC
Parameters:
where_in__comment_flagcid_0: 823
where_in__comment_flagcid_1: 944
where_in__comment_flagcid_2: 1129
where_in__comment_flagcid_3: 1278

                                    
SELECT count(comment_child.cid) AS total_comments

FROM comment AS comment_child

LEFT JOIN comment AS comment_parent ON comment_child.parent_id = comment_parent.cid

WHERE (comment_parent.deleted = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id IS NULL)
AND comment_child.deleted = 0
AND comment_child.spam = 0
AND comment_child.published = 1
AND comment_child.sid = 152
Parameters:

                                    
SELECT count(comment_child.cid) AS total_comments

FROM comment AS comment_child

LEFT JOIN comment AS comment_parent ON comment_child.parent_id = comment_parent.cid

WHERE (comment_parent.deleted = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id IS NULL)
AND comment_child.deleted = 0
AND comment_child.spam = 0
AND comment_child.published = 1
AND comment_child.sid = 152
Parameters:

                
				
			

		


        

            

                Sessions
            


            

                                    forms
                    
Array
(
    [shareform] => Array
        (
            [token] => f057c66bebe5f8bbd93b948c0a40c710
        )

    [leavecommentform] => Array
        (
            [token] => 952d904aca49c956f0eb489ff1839267
        )

)


                    

                                    debug
                    
Array
(
    [queries_run] => Array
        (
            [0] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/core/site.php, Line:60
Class: module\navigation\navigation Function: getNavigation
SELECT `navigation`.`nid`, `navigation`.`parent_id`, `navigation`.`name`, `navigation`.`url`, `navigation`.`created`, `navigation`.`parent_id`, `navigation`.`position`, `navigation`.`created`, `navigation`.`updated` 
FROM navigation 
ORDER BY navigation.position ASC
Parameters:
            [1] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/core/site.php, Line:62
Class: module\navigation_footer\navigation_footer Function: getNavigation
SELECT `navigation_footer`.`nfid`, `navigation_footer`.`name`, `navigation_footer`.`url`, `navigation_footer`.`created`, `navigation_footer`.`position`, `navigation_footer`.`created`, `navigation_footer`.`updated` 
FROM navigation_footer 
ORDER BY navigation_footer.position ASC
Parameters:
            [2] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:36
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: get_single
SELECT `story`.`sid`, `story`.`name`, `story`.`content`, `story`.`rating`, `story`.`author`, `story`.`ip`, `story`.`email`, `story`.`approved`, `story`.`check_true`, `story`.`temp_name`, `story`.`email_sent`, `story`.`highlighted`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`updated`, `story`.`celebrity_id`, `story`.`published`, `story`.`deleted` 
FROM story 
WHERE `story`.`sid` = :story_sid  AND `story`.`published` = :story_published  AND `story`.`deleted` = :story_deleted  
ORDER BY story.created DESC  
LIMIT 1
Parameters:
story_sid: 152
story_published: 1
story_deleted: 0
            [3] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:46
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: get_single
SELECT `celebrity`.`cid`, `celebrity`.`name`, `celebrity`.`dob`, `celebrity`.`image_source`, `celebrity`.`featured`, `celebrity`.`known`, `celebrity`.`nice_percent`, `celebrity`.`mean_percent`, `celebrity`.`ok_percent`, `celebrity`.`slug`, `celebrity`.`updated`, `celebrity`.`story_count`, `celebrity`.`created`, `celebrity`.`updated`, `celebrity`.`published`, `celebrity`.`deleted` 
FROM celebrity 
WHERE `celebrity`.`cid` = :celebrity_cid  AND `celebrity`.`published` = :celebrity_published  AND `celebrity`.`deleted` = :celebrity_deleted  
ORDER BY celebrity.created DESC  
LIMIT 1
Parameters:
celebrity_cid: 113
celebrity_published: 1
celebrity_deleted: 0
            [4] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:46
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: getLinked
SELECT `story`.`sid`, `story`.`name`, `story`.`content`, `story`.`rating`, `story`.`author`, `story`.`ip`, `story`.`email`, `story`.`approved`, `story`.`check_true`, `story`.`temp_name`, `story`.`email_sent`, `story`.`highlighted`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`updated`, `story`.`celebrity_id`, `story`.`celebrity_id`, `story`.`published`, `story`.`deleted` 
FROM story 
WHERE `story`.`published` = :story_published  AND `story`.`deleted` = :story_deleted  AND `story`.`celebrity_id` IN (:where_in__storycelebrity_id_0) 
ORDER BY story.created DESC
Parameters:
story_published: 1
story_deleted: 0
where_in__storycelebrity_id_0: 113
            [5] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:46
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: getLinked
SELECT `tag`.`tid`, `tag`.`name`, `tag`.`slug`, `tag`.`created`, `tag`.`updated`, `tag_celebrity`.`cid` 
FROM tag  JOIN tag_celebrity ON `tag_celebrity`.`tid` = `tag`.`tid` 
WHERE `tag_celebrity`.`cid` IN (:where_in__tag_celebritycid_0) 
ORDER BY tag.created DESC
Parameters:
where_in__tag_celebritycid_0: 113
            [6] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:73
Class: classes\getHtml\latestStories Function: getSidebarHtml
SELECT `story`.`sid`, `story`.`name`, `story`.`content`, `story`.`rating`, `story`.`author`, `story`.`ip`, `story`.`email`, `story`.`approved`, `story`.`check_true`, `story`.`temp_name`, `story`.`email_sent`, `story`.`highlighted`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`updated`, `story`.`celebrity_id`, `story`.`published`, `story`.`deleted` 
FROM story 
WHERE `story`.`published` = :story_published  AND `story`.`deleted` = :story_deleted  AND sid NOT IN (:where_not_in__sid_0) 
ORDER BY created DESC 
LIMIT 3
Parameters:
story_published: 1
story_deleted: 0
where_not_in__sid_0: 152
            [7] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:74
Class: classes\getHtml\randomCelebrity Function: getSidebarHtml
SELECT `celebrity`.`cid`, `celebrity`.`name`, `celebrity`.`dob`, `celebrity`.`image_source`, `celebrity`.`featured`, `celebrity`.`known`, `celebrity`.`nice_percent`, `celebrity`.`mean_percent`, `celebrity`.`ok_percent`, `celebrity`.`slug`, `celebrity`.`updated`, `celebrity`.`story_count`, `celebrity`.`created`, `celebrity`.`updated`, `celebrity`.`published`, `celebrity`.`deleted` 
FROM celebrity 
WHERE `celebrity`.`published` = :celebrity_published  AND `celebrity`.`deleted` = :celebrity_deleted  AND cid NOT IN (:where_not_in__cid_0) 
ORDER BY RAND() 
LIMIT 3
Parameters:
celebrity_published: 1
celebrity_deleted: 0
where_not_in__cid_0: 113
            [8] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:75
Class: classes\getHtml\tags Function: getSidebarHtml
SELECT `tag`.`tid`, `tag`.`name`, `tag`.`slug`, `tag`.`created`, `tag`.`updated`, count(tag_celebrity.tid) AS count 
FROM tag 
RIGHT JOIN tag_celebrity ON tag.tid = tag_celebrity.tid 
GROUP BY tag_celebrity.tid 
ORDER BY count DESC
Parameters:
            [9] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/comment/comment.php, Line:54
Class: module\comment\comment Function: getComments
SELECT `comment`.`cid`, `comment`.`name`, `comment`.`message`, `comment`.`message_uncensored`, `comment`.`ghost_comment`, `comment`.`spam`, `comment`.`anonymous`, `comment`.`created`, `comment`.`author_name`, `comment`.`parent_id`, `comment`.`created`, `comment`.`updated`, `comment`.`uid`, `comment`.`sid`, `comment`.`published`, `comment`.`deleted` 
FROM comment 
WHERE `comment`.`sid` = :comment_sid  AND `comment`.`published` = :comment_published  AND `comment`.`deleted` = :comment_deleted  
ORDER BY created ASC
Parameters:
comment_sid: 152
comment_published: 1
comment_deleted: 0
            [10] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/comment/comment.php, Line:23
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: getLinked
SELECT `user`.`uid`, `user`.`name`, `user`.`email`, `user`.`password`, `user`.`password_reset_key`, `user`.`password_reset_ts`, `user`.`last_login`, `user`.`email_verified`, `user`.`email_verification_key`, `user`.`ip`, `user`.`created`, `user`.`updated`, `user`.`uid`, `user`.`published` 
FROM user 
WHERE `user`.`published` = :user_published  AND `user`.`uid` IN (:where_in__useruid_0, :where_in__useruid_1, :where_in__useruid_2, :where_in__useruid_3) 
ORDER BY user.created DESC
Parameters:
user_published: 1
where_in__useruid_0: 
where_in__useruid_1: 
where_in__useruid_2: 
where_in__useruid_3: 
            [11] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/comment/comment.php, Line:24
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: getLinked
SELECT `comment_flag`.`cfid`, `comment_flag`.`reason`, `comment_flag`.`ip`, `comment_flag`.`created`, `comment_flag`.`updated`, `comment_flag`.`cid`, `comment_flag`.`uid`, `comment_flag`.`cid` 
FROM comment_flag 
WHERE `comment_flag`.`cid` IN (:where_in__comment_flagcid_0, :where_in__comment_flagcid_1, :where_in__comment_flagcid_2, :where_in__comment_flagcid_3) 
ORDER BY comment_flag.created DESC
Parameters:
where_in__comment_flagcid_0: 823
where_in__comment_flagcid_1: 944
where_in__comment_flagcid_2: 1129
where_in__comment_flagcid_3: 1278
            [12] => SELECT count(comment_child.cid) AS total_comments

FROM comment AS comment_child

LEFT JOIN comment AS comment_parent ON comment_child.parent_id = comment_parent.cid

WHERE (comment_parent.deleted = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id IS NULL)
AND comment_child.deleted = 0
AND comment_child.spam = 0
AND comment_child.published = 1
AND comment_child.sid = 152
Parameters:
            [13] => SELECT count(comment_child.cid) AS total_comments

FROM comment AS comment_child

LEFT JOIN comment AS comment_parent ON comment_child.parent_id = comment_parent.cid

WHERE (comment_parent.deleted = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id IS NULL)
AND comment_child.deleted = 0
AND comment_child.spam = 0
AND comment_child.published = 1
AND comment_child.sid = 152
Parameters:
        )

)