John Cleese

Silly walks

Years ago, a friend of mine was studying abroad and had a master acting class with Mr. Cleese. As my friend tells it, the very first day of class Cleese says something along the lines of "Yes, I'm John Cleese, I'm famous, Monty Python etc, etc. However, this is a serious class and our time is limited. If anyone, ever wastes our time mentioning anything related to Monty Python, they will fail. Especially the silly walks sketch." Apparently he was really adamant about the silly walks, specifically. So the whole term plays out and is amazing and at the very end each student get a one-on-one meet with Mr. Cleese to discuss their progress and grade. My friend can't help himself and blurts out how much he loved Monty Python and Fawlty Towers and all of it and that he thinks John Cleese is a genius. Cleese sighs, says "Well, I warned you about what would happen. I'm sorry, but you will not receive a passing mark in my class", stands up and silly walks out of the office.
Source
8 Feb
1 Comment
Rated:
NICE
1 Comment
JB
Joshua Brown
16 August 13:48pm

Best story I have read here so far! Thanks for sharing.

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SELECT `story`.`sid`, `story`.`name`, `story`.`content`, `story`.`rating`, `story`.`author`, `story`.`ip`, `story`.`email`, `story`.`approved`, `story`.`check_true`, `story`.`temp_name`, `story`.`email_sent`, `story`.`highlighted`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`updated`, `story`.`celebrity_id`, `story`.`published`, `story`.`deleted` 
FROM story 
WHERE `story`.`published` = :story_published  AND `story`.`deleted` = :story_deleted  AND sid NOT IN (:where_not_in__sid_0) 
ORDER BY created DESC 
LIMIT 3
Parameters:
story_published: 1
story_deleted: 0
where_not_in__sid_0: 324

                                    
Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:74
Class: classes\getHtml\randomCelebrity Function: getSidebarHtml
SELECT `celebrity`.`cid`, `celebrity`.`name`, `celebrity`.`dob`, `celebrity`.`image_source`, `celebrity`.`featured`, `celebrity`.`known`, `celebrity`.`nice_percent`, `celebrity`.`mean_percent`, `celebrity`.`ok_percent`, `celebrity`.`slug`, `celebrity`.`updated`, `celebrity`.`story_count`, `celebrity`.`created`, `celebrity`.`updated`, `celebrity`.`published`, `celebrity`.`deleted` 
FROM celebrity 
WHERE `celebrity`.`published` = :celebrity_published  AND `celebrity`.`deleted` = :celebrity_deleted  AND cid NOT IN (:where_not_in__cid_0) 
ORDER BY RAND() 
LIMIT 3
Parameters:
celebrity_published: 1
celebrity_deleted: 0
where_not_in__cid_0: 113

                                    
Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:75
Class: classes\getHtml\tags Function: getSidebarHtml
SELECT `tag`.`tid`, `tag`.`name`, `tag`.`slug`, `tag`.`created`, `tag`.`updated`, count(tag_celebrity.tid) AS count 
FROM tag 
RIGHT JOIN tag_celebrity ON tag.tid = tag_celebrity.tid 
GROUP BY tag_celebrity.tid 
ORDER BY count DESC
Parameters:

                                    
Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/comment/comment.php, Line:54
Class: module\comment\comment Function: getComments
SELECT `comment`.`cid`, `comment`.`name`, `comment`.`message`, `comment`.`message_uncensored`, `comment`.`ghost_comment`, `comment`.`spam`, `comment`.`anonymous`, `comment`.`created`, `comment`.`author_name`, `comment`.`parent_id`, `comment`.`created`, `comment`.`updated`, `comment`.`uid`, `comment`.`sid`, `comment`.`published`, `comment`.`deleted` 
FROM comment 
WHERE `comment`.`sid` = :comment_sid  AND `comment`.`published` = :comment_published  AND `comment`.`deleted` = :comment_deleted  
ORDER BY created ASC
Parameters:
comment_sid: 324
comment_published: 1
comment_deleted: 0

                                    
Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/comment/comment.php, Line:23
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: getLinked
SELECT `user`.`uid`, `user`.`name`, `user`.`email`, `user`.`password`, `user`.`password_reset_key`, `user`.`password_reset_ts`, `user`.`last_login`, `user`.`email_verified`, `user`.`email_verification_key`, `user`.`ip`, `user`.`created`, `user`.`updated`, `user`.`uid`, `user`.`published` 
FROM user 
WHERE `user`.`published` = :user_published  AND `user`.`uid` IN (:where_in__useruid_0) 
ORDER BY user.created DESC
Parameters:
user_published: 1
where_in__useruid_0: 

                                    
Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/comment/comment.php, Line:24
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: getLinked
SELECT `comment_flag`.`cfid`, `comment_flag`.`reason`, `comment_flag`.`ip`, `comment_flag`.`created`, `comment_flag`.`updated`, `comment_flag`.`cid`, `comment_flag`.`uid`, `comment_flag`.`cid` 
FROM comment_flag 
WHERE `comment_flag`.`cid` IN (:where_in__comment_flagcid_0) 
ORDER BY comment_flag.created DESC
Parameters:
where_in__comment_flagcid_0: 458

                                    
SELECT count(comment_child.cid) AS total_comments

FROM comment AS comment_child

LEFT JOIN comment AS comment_parent ON comment_child.parent_id = comment_parent.cid

WHERE (comment_parent.deleted = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id IS NULL)
AND comment_child.deleted = 0
AND comment_child.spam = 0
AND comment_child.published = 1
AND comment_child.sid = 324
Parameters:

                                    
SELECT count(comment_child.cid) AS total_comments

FROM comment AS comment_child

LEFT JOIN comment AS comment_parent ON comment_child.parent_id = comment_parent.cid

WHERE (comment_parent.deleted = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id IS NULL)
AND comment_child.deleted = 0
AND comment_child.spam = 0
AND comment_child.published = 1
AND comment_child.sid = 324
Parameters:

                
				
			

		


        

            

                Sessions
            


            

                                    forms
                    
Array
(
    [leavecommentform] => Array
        (
            [token] => b92ce67d7cfdd91e1d3dc4685cbbc9ff
        )

)


                    

                                    debug
                    
Array
(
    [queries_run] => Array
        (
            [0] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/core/site.php, Line:60
Class: module\navigation\navigation Function: getNavigation
SELECT `navigation`.`nid`, `navigation`.`parent_id`, `navigation`.`name`, `navigation`.`url`, `navigation`.`created`, `navigation`.`parent_id`, `navigation`.`position`, `navigation`.`created`, `navigation`.`updated` 
FROM navigation 
ORDER BY navigation.position ASC
Parameters:
            [1] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/core/site.php, Line:62
Class: module\navigation_footer\navigation_footer Function: getNavigation
SELECT `navigation_footer`.`nfid`, `navigation_footer`.`name`, `navigation_footer`.`url`, `navigation_footer`.`created`, `navigation_footer`.`position`, `navigation_footer`.`created`, `navigation_footer`.`updated` 
FROM navigation_footer 
ORDER BY navigation_footer.position ASC
Parameters:
            [2] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:36
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: get_single
SELECT `story`.`sid`, `story`.`name`, `story`.`content`, `story`.`rating`, `story`.`author`, `story`.`ip`, `story`.`email`, `story`.`approved`, `story`.`check_true`, `story`.`temp_name`, `story`.`email_sent`, `story`.`highlighted`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`updated`, `story`.`celebrity_id`, `story`.`published`, `story`.`deleted` 
FROM story 
WHERE `story`.`sid` = :story_sid  AND `story`.`published` = :story_published  AND `story`.`deleted` = :story_deleted  
ORDER BY story.created DESC  
LIMIT 1
Parameters:
story_sid: 324
story_published: 1
story_deleted: 0
            [3] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:46
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: get_single
SELECT `celebrity`.`cid`, `celebrity`.`name`, `celebrity`.`dob`, `celebrity`.`image_source`, `celebrity`.`featured`, `celebrity`.`known`, `celebrity`.`nice_percent`, `celebrity`.`mean_percent`, `celebrity`.`ok_percent`, `celebrity`.`slug`, `celebrity`.`updated`, `celebrity`.`story_count`, `celebrity`.`created`, `celebrity`.`updated`, `celebrity`.`published`, `celebrity`.`deleted` 
FROM celebrity 
WHERE `celebrity`.`cid` = :celebrity_cid  AND `celebrity`.`published` = :celebrity_published  AND `celebrity`.`deleted` = :celebrity_deleted  
ORDER BY celebrity.created DESC  
LIMIT 1
Parameters:
celebrity_cid: 113
celebrity_published: 1
celebrity_deleted: 0
            [4] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:46
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: getLinked
SELECT `story`.`sid`, `story`.`name`, `story`.`content`, `story`.`rating`, `story`.`author`, `story`.`ip`, `story`.`email`, `story`.`approved`, `story`.`check_true`, `story`.`temp_name`, `story`.`email_sent`, `story`.`highlighted`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`updated`, `story`.`celebrity_id`, `story`.`celebrity_id`, `story`.`published`, `story`.`deleted` 
FROM story 
WHERE `story`.`published` = :story_published  AND `story`.`deleted` = :story_deleted  AND `story`.`celebrity_id` IN (:where_in__storycelebrity_id_0) 
ORDER BY story.created DESC
Parameters:
story_published: 1
story_deleted: 0
where_in__storycelebrity_id_0: 113
            [5] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:46
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: getLinked
SELECT `tag`.`tid`, `tag`.`name`, `tag`.`slug`, `tag`.`created`, `tag`.`updated`, `tag_celebrity`.`cid` 
FROM tag  JOIN tag_celebrity ON `tag_celebrity`.`tid` = `tag`.`tid` 
WHERE `tag_celebrity`.`cid` IN (:where_in__tag_celebritycid_0) 
ORDER BY tag.created DESC
Parameters:
where_in__tag_celebritycid_0: 113
            [6] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:73
Class: classes\getHtml\latestStories Function: getSidebarHtml
SELECT `story`.`sid`, `story`.`name`, `story`.`content`, `story`.`rating`, `story`.`author`, `story`.`ip`, `story`.`email`, `story`.`approved`, `story`.`check_true`, `story`.`temp_name`, `story`.`email_sent`, `story`.`highlighted`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`updated`, `story`.`celebrity_id`, `story`.`published`, `story`.`deleted` 
FROM story 
WHERE `story`.`published` = :story_published  AND `story`.`deleted` = :story_deleted  AND sid NOT IN (:where_not_in__sid_0) 
ORDER BY created DESC 
LIMIT 3
Parameters:
story_published: 1
story_deleted: 0
where_not_in__sid_0: 324
            [7] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:74
Class: classes\getHtml\randomCelebrity Function: getSidebarHtml
SELECT `celebrity`.`cid`, `celebrity`.`name`, `celebrity`.`dob`, `celebrity`.`image_source`, `celebrity`.`featured`, `celebrity`.`known`, `celebrity`.`nice_percent`, `celebrity`.`mean_percent`, `celebrity`.`ok_percent`, `celebrity`.`slug`, `celebrity`.`updated`, `celebrity`.`story_count`, `celebrity`.`created`, `celebrity`.`updated`, `celebrity`.`published`, `celebrity`.`deleted` 
FROM celebrity 
WHERE `celebrity`.`published` = :celebrity_published  AND `celebrity`.`deleted` = :celebrity_deleted  AND cid NOT IN (:where_not_in__cid_0) 
ORDER BY RAND() 
LIMIT 3
Parameters:
celebrity_published: 1
celebrity_deleted: 0
where_not_in__cid_0: 113
            [8] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:75
Class: classes\getHtml\tags Function: getSidebarHtml
SELECT `tag`.`tid`, `tag`.`name`, `tag`.`slug`, `tag`.`created`, `tag`.`updated`, count(tag_celebrity.tid) AS count 
FROM tag 
RIGHT JOIN tag_celebrity ON tag.tid = tag_celebrity.tid 
GROUP BY tag_celebrity.tid 
ORDER BY count DESC
Parameters:
            [9] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/comment/comment.php, Line:54
Class: module\comment\comment Function: getComments
SELECT `comment`.`cid`, `comment`.`name`, `comment`.`message`, `comment`.`message_uncensored`, `comment`.`ghost_comment`, `comment`.`spam`, `comment`.`anonymous`, `comment`.`created`, `comment`.`author_name`, `comment`.`parent_id`, `comment`.`created`, `comment`.`updated`, `comment`.`uid`, `comment`.`sid`, `comment`.`published`, `comment`.`deleted` 
FROM comment 
WHERE `comment`.`sid` = :comment_sid  AND `comment`.`published` = :comment_published  AND `comment`.`deleted` = :comment_deleted  
ORDER BY created ASC
Parameters:
comment_sid: 324
comment_published: 1
comment_deleted: 0
            [10] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/comment/comment.php, Line:23
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: getLinked
SELECT `user`.`uid`, `user`.`name`, `user`.`email`, `user`.`password`, `user`.`password_reset_key`, `user`.`password_reset_ts`, `user`.`last_login`, `user`.`email_verified`, `user`.`email_verification_key`, `user`.`ip`, `user`.`created`, `user`.`updated`, `user`.`uid`, `user`.`published` 
FROM user 
WHERE `user`.`published` = :user_published  AND `user`.`uid` IN (:where_in__useruid_0) 
ORDER BY user.created DESC
Parameters:
user_published: 1
where_in__useruid_0: 
            [11] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/comment/comment.php, Line:24
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: getLinked
SELECT `comment_flag`.`cfid`, `comment_flag`.`reason`, `comment_flag`.`ip`, `comment_flag`.`created`, `comment_flag`.`updated`, `comment_flag`.`cid`, `comment_flag`.`uid`, `comment_flag`.`cid` 
FROM comment_flag 
WHERE `comment_flag`.`cid` IN (:where_in__comment_flagcid_0) 
ORDER BY comment_flag.created DESC
Parameters:
where_in__comment_flagcid_0: 458
            [12] => SELECT count(comment_child.cid) AS total_comments

FROM comment AS comment_child

LEFT JOIN comment AS comment_parent ON comment_child.parent_id = comment_parent.cid

WHERE (comment_parent.deleted = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id IS NULL)
AND comment_child.deleted = 0
AND comment_child.spam = 0
AND comment_child.published = 1
AND comment_child.sid = 324
Parameters:
            [13] => SELECT count(comment_child.cid) AS total_comments

FROM comment AS comment_child

LEFT JOIN comment AS comment_parent ON comment_child.parent_id = comment_parent.cid

WHERE (comment_parent.deleted = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id IS NULL)
AND comment_child.deleted = 0
AND comment_child.spam = 0
AND comment_child.published = 1
AND comment_child.sid = 324
Parameters:
        )

)