Ed Helms

Ed Helms

24th Jan 1974 (51 years old)
Actor Comedian

In the bathroom

I was at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in NYC during their huge improv marathon last summer. It's 2 or 3 in the morning, the place is hot and sweaty from 400 people crammed into a basement comedy theatre. Everyone is drunk, including myself. I needed to pee. I slid over to the bathroom and Ed Helms (Daily Show, The Office) comes out. "The bathroom is full. I am next in line. If you try to cut ahead of me, I will pee on you." At this point, I think 3 things: 1. Holy shit, Ed Helms! 2. My girlfriend loves Ed Helms! 3. You're at UCB and it's an unwritten rule that you play it cool around the random celebs that show up. These 3 thoughts coalesce in the worst possible way. I respond, "You know, you should pee on me, my girlfriend would love that." Without missing a beat, he replies, "She's a keeper. Marry that girl." Then we peed next to each other. THE END.
Source
7 Dec
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Rated:
NICE
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Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/core/site.php, Line:62
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Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:36
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: get_single
SELECT `story`.`sid`, `story`.`name`, `story`.`content`, `story`.`rating`, `story`.`author`, `story`.`ip`, `story`.`email`, `story`.`approved`, `story`.`check_true`, `story`.`temp_name`, `story`.`email_sent`, `story`.`highlighted`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`updated`, `story`.`celebrity_id`, `story`.`published`, `story`.`deleted` 
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story_deleted: 0

                                    
Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:46
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: get_single
SELECT `celebrity`.`cid`, `celebrity`.`name`, `celebrity`.`dob`, `celebrity`.`image_source`, `celebrity`.`featured`, `celebrity`.`known`, `celebrity`.`nice_percent`, `celebrity`.`mean_percent`, `celebrity`.`ok_percent`, `celebrity`.`slug`, `celebrity`.`updated`, `celebrity`.`story_count`, `celebrity`.`created`, `celebrity`.`updated`, `celebrity`.`published`, `celebrity`.`deleted` 
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celebrity_published: 1
celebrity_deleted: 0

                                    
Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:46
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: getLinked
SELECT `story`.`sid`, `story`.`name`, `story`.`content`, `story`.`rating`, `story`.`author`, `story`.`ip`, `story`.`email`, `story`.`approved`, `story`.`check_true`, `story`.`temp_name`, `story`.`email_sent`, `story`.`highlighted`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`updated`, `story`.`celebrity_id`, `story`.`celebrity_id`, `story`.`published`, `story`.`deleted` 
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story_published: 1
story_deleted: 0
where_in__storycelebrity_id_0: 197

                                    
Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:46
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: getLinked
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Parameters:
where_in__tag_celebritycid_0: 197

                                    
Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:73
Class: classes\getHtml\latestStories Function: getSidebarHtml
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story_deleted: 0
where_not_in__sid_0: 272

                                    
Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:74
Class: classes\getHtml\randomCelebrity Function: getSidebarHtml
SELECT `celebrity`.`cid`, `celebrity`.`name`, `celebrity`.`dob`, `celebrity`.`image_source`, `celebrity`.`featured`, `celebrity`.`known`, `celebrity`.`nice_percent`, `celebrity`.`mean_percent`, `celebrity`.`ok_percent`, `celebrity`.`slug`, `celebrity`.`updated`, `celebrity`.`story_count`, `celebrity`.`created`, `celebrity`.`updated`, `celebrity`.`published`, `celebrity`.`deleted` 
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celebrity_published: 1
celebrity_deleted: 0
where_not_in__cid_0: 197

                                    
Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:75
Class: classes\getHtml\tags Function: getSidebarHtml
SELECT `tag`.`tid`, `tag`.`name`, `tag`.`slug`, `tag`.`created`, `tag`.`updated`, count(tag_celebrity.tid) AS count 
FROM tag 
RIGHT JOIN tag_celebrity ON tag.tid = tag_celebrity.tid 
GROUP BY tag_celebrity.tid 
ORDER BY count DESC
Parameters:

                                    
Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/comment/comment.php, Line:54
Class: module\comment\comment Function: getComments
SELECT `comment`.`cid`, `comment`.`name`, `comment`.`message`, `comment`.`message_uncensored`, `comment`.`ghost_comment`, `comment`.`spam`, `comment`.`anonymous`, `comment`.`created`, `comment`.`author_name`, `comment`.`parent_id`, `comment`.`created`, `comment`.`updated`, `comment`.`uid`, `comment`.`sid`, `comment`.`published`, `comment`.`deleted` 
FROM comment 
WHERE `comment`.`sid` = :comment_sid  AND `comment`.`published` = :comment_published  AND `comment`.`deleted` = :comment_deleted  
ORDER BY created ASC
Parameters:
comment_sid: 272
comment_published: 1
comment_deleted: 0

                                    
SELECT count(comment_child.cid) AS total_comments

FROM comment AS comment_child

LEFT JOIN comment AS comment_parent ON comment_child.parent_id = comment_parent.cid

WHERE (comment_parent.deleted = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id IS NULL)
AND comment_child.deleted = 0
AND comment_child.spam = 0
AND comment_child.published = 1
AND comment_child.sid = 272
Parameters:

                                    
SELECT count(comment_child.cid) AS total_comments

FROM comment AS comment_child

LEFT JOIN comment AS comment_parent ON comment_child.parent_id = comment_parent.cid

WHERE (comment_parent.deleted = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id IS NULL)
AND comment_child.deleted = 0
AND comment_child.spam = 0
AND comment_child.published = 1
AND comment_child.sid = 272
Parameters:

                
				
			

		


        

            

                Sessions
            


            

                                    forms
                    
Array
(
    [searchBox] => Array
        (
            [token] => c61c61ec8909ad921651675f33328b82
        )

    [leavecommentform] => Array
        (
            [token] => 78ec2cbe9f79669d10ecd53dde622820
        )

)


                    

                                    debug
                    
Array
(
    [queries_run] => Array
        (
            [0] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/core/site.php, Line:60
Class: module\navigation\navigation Function: getNavigation
SELECT `navigation`.`nid`, `navigation`.`parent_id`, `navigation`.`name`, `navigation`.`url`, `navigation`.`created`, `navigation`.`parent_id`, `navigation`.`position`, `navigation`.`created`, `navigation`.`updated` 
FROM navigation 
ORDER BY navigation.position ASC
Parameters:
            [1] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/core/site.php, Line:62
Class: module\navigation_footer\navigation_footer Function: getNavigation
SELECT `navigation_footer`.`nfid`, `navigation_footer`.`name`, `navigation_footer`.`url`, `navigation_footer`.`created`, `navigation_footer`.`position`, `navigation_footer`.`created`, `navigation_footer`.`updated` 
FROM navigation_footer 
ORDER BY navigation_footer.position ASC
Parameters:
            [2] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:36
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: get_single
SELECT `story`.`sid`, `story`.`name`, `story`.`content`, `story`.`rating`, `story`.`author`, `story`.`ip`, `story`.`email`, `story`.`approved`, `story`.`check_true`, `story`.`temp_name`, `story`.`email_sent`, `story`.`highlighted`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`updated`, `story`.`celebrity_id`, `story`.`published`, `story`.`deleted` 
FROM story 
WHERE `story`.`sid` = :story_sid  AND `story`.`published` = :story_published  AND `story`.`deleted` = :story_deleted  
ORDER BY story.created DESC  
LIMIT 1
Parameters:
story_sid: 272
story_published: 1
story_deleted: 0
            [3] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:46
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: get_single
SELECT `celebrity`.`cid`, `celebrity`.`name`, `celebrity`.`dob`, `celebrity`.`image_source`, `celebrity`.`featured`, `celebrity`.`known`, `celebrity`.`nice_percent`, `celebrity`.`mean_percent`, `celebrity`.`ok_percent`, `celebrity`.`slug`, `celebrity`.`updated`, `celebrity`.`story_count`, `celebrity`.`created`, `celebrity`.`updated`, `celebrity`.`published`, `celebrity`.`deleted` 
FROM celebrity 
WHERE `celebrity`.`cid` = :celebrity_cid  AND `celebrity`.`published` = :celebrity_published  AND `celebrity`.`deleted` = :celebrity_deleted  
ORDER BY celebrity.created DESC  
LIMIT 1
Parameters:
celebrity_cid: 197
celebrity_published: 1
celebrity_deleted: 0
            [4] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:46
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: getLinked
SELECT `story`.`sid`, `story`.`name`, `story`.`content`, `story`.`rating`, `story`.`author`, `story`.`ip`, `story`.`email`, `story`.`approved`, `story`.`check_true`, `story`.`temp_name`, `story`.`email_sent`, `story`.`highlighted`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`updated`, `story`.`celebrity_id`, `story`.`celebrity_id`, `story`.`published`, `story`.`deleted` 
FROM story 
WHERE `story`.`published` = :story_published  AND `story`.`deleted` = :story_deleted  AND `story`.`celebrity_id` IN (:where_in__storycelebrity_id_0) 
ORDER BY story.created DESC
Parameters:
story_published: 1
story_deleted: 0
where_in__storycelebrity_id_0: 197
            [5] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:46
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: getLinked
SELECT `tag`.`tid`, `tag`.`name`, `tag`.`slug`, `tag`.`created`, `tag`.`updated`, `tag_celebrity`.`cid` 
FROM tag  JOIN tag_celebrity ON `tag_celebrity`.`tid` = `tag`.`tid` 
WHERE `tag_celebrity`.`cid` IN (:where_in__tag_celebritycid_0) 
ORDER BY tag.created DESC
Parameters:
where_in__tag_celebritycid_0: 197
            [6] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:73
Class: classes\getHtml\latestStories Function: getSidebarHtml
SELECT `story`.`sid`, `story`.`name`, `story`.`content`, `story`.`rating`, `story`.`author`, `story`.`ip`, `story`.`email`, `story`.`approved`, `story`.`check_true`, `story`.`temp_name`, `story`.`email_sent`, `story`.`highlighted`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`updated`, `story`.`celebrity_id`, `story`.`published`, `story`.`deleted` 
FROM story 
WHERE `story`.`published` = :story_published  AND `story`.`deleted` = :story_deleted  AND sid NOT IN (:where_not_in__sid_0) 
ORDER BY created DESC 
LIMIT 3
Parameters:
story_published: 1
story_deleted: 0
where_not_in__sid_0: 272
            [7] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:74
Class: classes\getHtml\randomCelebrity Function: getSidebarHtml
SELECT `celebrity`.`cid`, `celebrity`.`name`, `celebrity`.`dob`, `celebrity`.`image_source`, `celebrity`.`featured`, `celebrity`.`known`, `celebrity`.`nice_percent`, `celebrity`.`mean_percent`, `celebrity`.`ok_percent`, `celebrity`.`slug`, `celebrity`.`updated`, `celebrity`.`story_count`, `celebrity`.`created`, `celebrity`.`updated`, `celebrity`.`published`, `celebrity`.`deleted` 
FROM celebrity 
WHERE `celebrity`.`published` = :celebrity_published  AND `celebrity`.`deleted` = :celebrity_deleted  AND cid NOT IN (:where_not_in__cid_0) 
ORDER BY RAND() 
LIMIT 3
Parameters:
celebrity_published: 1
celebrity_deleted: 0
where_not_in__cid_0: 197
            [8] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:75
Class: classes\getHtml\tags Function: getSidebarHtml
SELECT `tag`.`tid`, `tag`.`name`, `tag`.`slug`, `tag`.`created`, `tag`.`updated`, count(tag_celebrity.tid) AS count 
FROM tag 
RIGHT JOIN tag_celebrity ON tag.tid = tag_celebrity.tid 
GROUP BY tag_celebrity.tid 
ORDER BY count DESC
Parameters:
            [9] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/comment/comment.php, Line:54
Class: module\comment\comment Function: getComments
SELECT `comment`.`cid`, `comment`.`name`, `comment`.`message`, `comment`.`message_uncensored`, `comment`.`ghost_comment`, `comment`.`spam`, `comment`.`anonymous`, `comment`.`created`, `comment`.`author_name`, `comment`.`parent_id`, `comment`.`created`, `comment`.`updated`, `comment`.`uid`, `comment`.`sid`, `comment`.`published`, `comment`.`deleted` 
FROM comment 
WHERE `comment`.`sid` = :comment_sid  AND `comment`.`published` = :comment_published  AND `comment`.`deleted` = :comment_deleted  
ORDER BY created ASC
Parameters:
comment_sid: 272
comment_published: 1
comment_deleted: 0
            [10] => SELECT count(comment_child.cid) AS total_comments

FROM comment AS comment_child

LEFT JOIN comment AS comment_parent ON comment_child.parent_id = comment_parent.cid

WHERE (comment_parent.deleted = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id IS NULL)
AND comment_child.deleted = 0
AND comment_child.spam = 0
AND comment_child.published = 1
AND comment_child.sid = 272
Parameters:
            [11] => SELECT count(comment_child.cid) AS total_comments

FROM comment AS comment_child

LEFT JOIN comment AS comment_parent ON comment_child.parent_id = comment_parent.cid

WHERE (comment_parent.deleted = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id IS NULL)
AND comment_child.deleted = 0
AND comment_child.spam = 0
AND comment_child.published = 1
AND comment_child.sid = 272
Parameters:
        )

)