I was assaulted by Dan Aykroyd in a strip club bathroom in Kingston, Ontario
The incident occurred in fall 2001. At the time, and I'm not sure if this is still the case, Dan Aykroyd's family was living in or around Kingston, Ontario. I was a fresh-faced undergraduate student, visiting friends on the weekend, in Kingston. Over the last several years, I had heard rumours, from friends who were currently living or had lived in Kingston, concerning Dan Aykroyd. I'm not sure if these rumours still go around concerning this, but rumour has it that when Dan Aykroyd visits his parents (circa 2001 - ?), he and his posse of bodyguards peruse the student-attended bars and clubs in town at night, in order to try and get some action off of co-eds.
Until the incident, I had only heard of these rumours from second-hand sources. However, one day I happened to be talking to one of my friends at school, who happened to be a Kingston native, and I asked about these rumours. Not only did she confirm them, but she told me that she had been one of Dan's targets one evening. She basically said he was something along the lines of a "creeper".
So, back to the story. I was visiting friends in Kingston, who were throwing a house party. We were partying and having a good time. My friend, "Al" and I were talking when one of his friends joined our conversation. We were discussing how the party was going to progress; whether we'd all stay at his house, or move along to the bars on Princess Street. Al's friend said something along the lines of, "so and so says she saw Dan Aykroyd at MyBar." I brought up the fact that several weeks ago, I had head from my friend that she said that he was "Creeping" on girls. Al's friend assumed that was what he was doing. We quickly lost interest in what was going to happen with the house party, and its 30 or so guests. We decided we would let Al's roommates be in charge of that, and we left, in search of Dan Aykroyd.
We were 19/20 at the time, and pretty drunk, but we were determined. We went to the bar where he was last seen. Dan wasn't there, but we were told that he had just left. We asked around, and the general consensus was that he was going down Princess St. With nothing to lose we went looking for him. We spotted him and his posse further down the street. We followed them a little bit behind, to see where they were going. After a block, they turned a corner. After a minute or two we turned the corner, and they were gone. There was not a lot of places that they could have went into, but there was a seedy strip club at the end of the block. We gave it a shot and went in.
We were pretty drunk, but we held it together enough to be allowed admission. We kept our cool. We spotted them at a table, watching some townie get a lap dance. We sat at a table a couple over from theirs, and we ordered beer. So, we're sitting in a strip club watching Dan Aykroyd, and he has a drink, but he keeps moving seats. His crew stays at the one table, but Dan is bouncing all over the place. Not silly-like, but like he can't stay in one place. He kept moving to a table that was next to someone who was having a lap dance. He did it a lot. It was like he was getting off on watching people get lap dances. Buddy is super rich, but didn't pay for one. I don't go to a lot of strip clubs, but I assume that this behaviour is frowned upon. Maybe the club's bouncers recognize him, and don't care, or maybe he's a regular and they're cool with it. We thought it was fucking weird.
We were discussing if we should approach him, and if so, what we would say. No one in the club approached him so far, so I guess we were slowly just getting more drunk and biding our time. I wasn't going to approach the man while he was getting off on watching some guy get a lap dance, or while he was with his crew, so we waited. After an hour or so of us being there, Dan headed for the can. I figured I'd go in there while he was finishing up and washing his hands or something, and I'd use the sink next to him and say hello or whatever. This is how I quickly played it out in my head. This is not how it went down.
He was in the can for maybe 10 seconds before I jumped out of my seat, and what probably seemed like to anyone watching, followed this man to the washroom. I pushed open the door to the washroom, and saw no one there. He was obviously in a stall. I could hear him peeing. I stood there like a drunk idiot, as I was, and he opened the stall door. This part all happened very quickly. I said something along the lines of, "Hi Mr. Aykroyd, I'm such a big fan of your work..." In mid-sentence he pushed me aside with a "yeah, yeah". I admit that this was the wrong place to try and greet anyone, and I regret doing it. I immediately tried to continue what I was saying about his work, specifically mentioning The Arrow, but he was not going to have any of it. He quickly, and abruptly pushed me up against the wall, telling me to fuck right off. He quickly exited the washroom without washing his hands.
I paused for a moment, then exited too. His posse were moving to the door with him. It was obvious they were leaving. I figured that I'd attempt an apology, and also conclude professing my feelings about his film and television catalogue. My friends gave me a "what the fuck just happened" look as I stood at the entrance to the washroom. I shrugged my shoulders. I caught up to Dan and his posse at the entrance/exit to the club. I began to apologize and tell him how much of an impact Ghostbusters 1 and 2 had on me, how I secretly loved My Girl, and how he did Canada a favour by telling the story of the Avro Arrow. This apology was given all the while I was being pinned to the outside wall of the club by one of his goons.
His car, or a taxi, pulled up and he and his posse got in. As he was getting into the car, his goon let me go, and Dan said something to me I will never forget, "Thanks for ruining my night, fucker."
Dan, if you read this, I'm truly sorry for ruining your night.
Pretty good time. Met a major Canadian celebrity. I feel bad about how it went down, but when you have one too many nips of courage at a young age, embarrassment is the result. I don't know if Dan Aykroyd still frequents the bars in Kingston while he's visiting, but I'd like to know if anyone else has heard of, or has had similar experiences with my Canadian hero.
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