Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris

10th Mar 1940 (85 years old)
Actor Martial Artist

"Now that's pain!"

Not me, but a friend had an uncle who went to a new bar with some friends and Chuck Norris was sitting there. The bartender explained to them (because they were the new guys) that Chuck Norris was a regular there, and he was a pretty calm, quiet guy and he didn't like a lot of attention. They basically ignored him as best as they could. hen, some other dude gets super wasted and starts basically harassing Chuck Norris, drunkenly quoting his movies and what not. He tries to imitate some of Chuck's moves and falls over into a barstool, knocking himself out and destroying the stool. The whole bar goes silent and my friend's uncle says "Now that's pain!" and Chuck Norris laughs out loud, the first sound he's made all night. Much later that night, when they go to leave the bar, the bartender lets them know Chuck Norris already paid their tab.
Source
29 Feb
2 Comments
Rated:
NICE
2 Comments
G
GustawKL56
5 May 10:41am

Chuck Norris tells Simon what to do. tłumaczenia online tłumaczenia ekspresowe

D
Dylan
8 December 01:40am

Chuck Norris doesn't pay the tab, the tab pays him

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Browse by tags
Actor Singer Musician Comedian Songwriter Producer Director Rapper Author Voice Actor Writer TV Host Model TV Personality Basketball Player View more tags
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CMS Edit: Module: comment - Chuck Norris tells Simon what to do. tłumaczenia online tłumaczenia ekspresowe - ID: 224

                    

                                    
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Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/core/site.php, Line:60
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Parameters:

                                    
Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/core/site.php, Line:62
Class: module\navigation_footer\navigation_footer Function: getNavigation
SELECT `navigation_footer`.`nfid`, `navigation_footer`.`name`, `navigation_footer`.`url`, `navigation_footer`.`created`, `navigation_footer`.`position`, `navigation_footer`.`created`, `navigation_footer`.`updated` 
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Parameters:

                                    
Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:36
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Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:46
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: get_single
SELECT `celebrity`.`cid`, `celebrity`.`name`, `celebrity`.`dob`, `celebrity`.`image_source`, `celebrity`.`featured`, `celebrity`.`known`, `celebrity`.`nice_percent`, `celebrity`.`mean_percent`, `celebrity`.`ok_percent`, `celebrity`.`slug`, `celebrity`.`updated`, `celebrity`.`story_count`, `celebrity`.`created`, `celebrity`.`updated`, `celebrity`.`published`, `celebrity`.`deleted` 
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celebrity_deleted: 0

                                    
Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:46
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: getLinked
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where_in__storycelebrity_id_0: 48

                                    
Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:46
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: getLinked
SELECT `tag`.`tid`, `tag`.`name`, `tag`.`slug`, `tag`.`created`, `tag`.`updated`, `tag_celebrity`.`cid` 
FROM tag  JOIN tag_celebrity ON `tag_celebrity`.`tid` = `tag`.`tid` 
WHERE `tag_celebrity`.`cid` IN (:where_in__tag_celebritycid_0) 
ORDER BY tag.created DESC
Parameters:
where_in__tag_celebritycid_0: 48

                                    
Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:73
Class: classes\getHtml\latestStories Function: getSidebarHtml
SELECT `story`.`sid`, `story`.`name`, `story`.`content`, `story`.`rating`, `story`.`author`, `story`.`ip`, `story`.`email`, `story`.`approved`, `story`.`check_true`, `story`.`temp_name`, `story`.`email_sent`, `story`.`highlighted`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`updated`, `story`.`celebrity_id`, `story`.`published`, `story`.`deleted` 
FROM story 
WHERE `story`.`published` = :story_published  AND `story`.`deleted` = :story_deleted  AND sid NOT IN (:where_not_in__sid_0) 
ORDER BY created DESC 
LIMIT 3
Parameters:
story_published: 1
story_deleted: 0
where_not_in__sid_0: 150

                                    
Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:74
Class: classes\getHtml\randomCelebrity Function: getSidebarHtml
SELECT `celebrity`.`cid`, `celebrity`.`name`, `celebrity`.`dob`, `celebrity`.`image_source`, `celebrity`.`featured`, `celebrity`.`known`, `celebrity`.`nice_percent`, `celebrity`.`mean_percent`, `celebrity`.`ok_percent`, `celebrity`.`slug`, `celebrity`.`updated`, `celebrity`.`story_count`, `celebrity`.`created`, `celebrity`.`updated`, `celebrity`.`published`, `celebrity`.`deleted` 
FROM celebrity 
WHERE `celebrity`.`published` = :celebrity_published  AND `celebrity`.`deleted` = :celebrity_deleted  AND cid NOT IN (:where_not_in__cid_0) 
ORDER BY RAND() 
LIMIT 3
Parameters:
celebrity_published: 1
celebrity_deleted: 0
where_not_in__cid_0: 48

                                    
Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:75
Class: classes\getHtml\tags Function: getSidebarHtml
SELECT `tag`.`tid`, `tag`.`name`, `tag`.`slug`, `tag`.`created`, `tag`.`updated`, count(tag_celebrity.tid) AS count 
FROM tag 
RIGHT JOIN tag_celebrity ON tag.tid = tag_celebrity.tid 
GROUP BY tag_celebrity.tid 
ORDER BY count DESC
Parameters:

                                    
Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/comment/comment.php, Line:54
Class: module\comment\comment Function: getComments
SELECT `comment`.`cid`, `comment`.`name`, `comment`.`message`, `comment`.`message_uncensored`, `comment`.`ghost_comment`, `comment`.`spam`, `comment`.`anonymous`, `comment`.`created`, `comment`.`author_name`, `comment`.`parent_id`, `comment`.`created`, `comment`.`updated`, `comment`.`uid`, `comment`.`sid`, `comment`.`published`, `comment`.`deleted` 
FROM comment 
WHERE `comment`.`sid` = :comment_sid  AND `comment`.`published` = :comment_published  AND `comment`.`deleted` = :comment_deleted  
ORDER BY created ASC
Parameters:
comment_sid: 150
comment_published: 1
comment_deleted: 0

                                    
Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/comment/comment.php, Line:23
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: getLinked
SELECT `user`.`uid`, `user`.`name`, `user`.`email`, `user`.`password`, `user`.`password_reset_key`, `user`.`password_reset_ts`, `user`.`last_login`, `user`.`email_verified`, `user`.`email_verification_key`, `user`.`ip`, `user`.`created`, `user`.`updated`, `user`.`uid`, `user`.`published` 
FROM user 
WHERE `user`.`published` = :user_published  AND `user`.`uid` IN (:where_in__useruid_0, :where_in__useruid_1) 
ORDER BY user.created DESC
Parameters:
user_published: 1
where_in__useruid_0: 
where_in__useruid_1: 

                                    
Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/comment/comment.php, Line:24
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: getLinked
SELECT `comment_flag`.`cfid`, `comment_flag`.`reason`, `comment_flag`.`ip`, `comment_flag`.`created`, `comment_flag`.`updated`, `comment_flag`.`cid`, `comment_flag`.`uid`, `comment_flag`.`cid` 
FROM comment_flag 
WHERE `comment_flag`.`cid` IN (:where_in__comment_flagcid_0, :where_in__comment_flagcid_1) 
ORDER BY comment_flag.created DESC
Parameters:
where_in__comment_flagcid_0: 224
where_in__comment_flagcid_1: 1126

                                    
SELECT count(comment_child.cid) AS total_comments

FROM comment AS comment_child

LEFT JOIN comment AS comment_parent ON comment_child.parent_id = comment_parent.cid

WHERE (comment_parent.deleted = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id IS NULL)
AND comment_child.deleted = 0
AND comment_child.spam = 0
AND comment_child.published = 1
AND comment_child.sid = 150
Parameters:

                                    
SELECT count(comment_child.cid) AS total_comments

FROM comment AS comment_child

LEFT JOIN comment AS comment_parent ON comment_child.parent_id = comment_parent.cid

WHERE (comment_parent.deleted = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id IS NULL)
AND comment_child.deleted = 0
AND comment_child.spam = 0
AND comment_child.published = 1
AND comment_child.sid = 150
Parameters:

                
				
			

		


        

            

                Sessions
            


            

                                    debug
                    
Array
(
    [queries_run] => Array
        (
            [0] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/core/site.php, Line:60
Class: module\navigation\navigation Function: getNavigation
SELECT `navigation`.`nid`, `navigation`.`parent_id`, `navigation`.`name`, `navigation`.`url`, `navigation`.`created`, `navigation`.`parent_id`, `navigation`.`position`, `navigation`.`created`, `navigation`.`updated` 
FROM navigation 
ORDER BY navigation.position ASC
Parameters:
            [1] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/core/site.php, Line:62
Class: module\navigation_footer\navigation_footer Function: getNavigation
SELECT `navigation_footer`.`nfid`, `navigation_footer`.`name`, `navigation_footer`.`url`, `navigation_footer`.`created`, `navigation_footer`.`position`, `navigation_footer`.`created`, `navigation_footer`.`updated` 
FROM navigation_footer 
ORDER BY navigation_footer.position ASC
Parameters:
            [2] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:36
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: get_single
SELECT `story`.`sid`, `story`.`name`, `story`.`content`, `story`.`rating`, `story`.`author`, `story`.`ip`, `story`.`email`, `story`.`approved`, `story`.`check_true`, `story`.`temp_name`, `story`.`email_sent`, `story`.`highlighted`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`updated`, `story`.`celebrity_id`, `story`.`published`, `story`.`deleted` 
FROM story 
WHERE `story`.`sid` = :story_sid  AND `story`.`published` = :story_published  AND `story`.`deleted` = :story_deleted  
ORDER BY story.created DESC  
LIMIT 1
Parameters:
story_sid: 150
story_published: 1
story_deleted: 0
            [3] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:46
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: get_single
SELECT `celebrity`.`cid`, `celebrity`.`name`, `celebrity`.`dob`, `celebrity`.`image_source`, `celebrity`.`featured`, `celebrity`.`known`, `celebrity`.`nice_percent`, `celebrity`.`mean_percent`, `celebrity`.`ok_percent`, `celebrity`.`slug`, `celebrity`.`updated`, `celebrity`.`story_count`, `celebrity`.`created`, `celebrity`.`updated`, `celebrity`.`published`, `celebrity`.`deleted` 
FROM celebrity 
WHERE `celebrity`.`cid` = :celebrity_cid  AND `celebrity`.`published` = :celebrity_published  AND `celebrity`.`deleted` = :celebrity_deleted  
ORDER BY celebrity.created DESC  
LIMIT 1
Parameters:
celebrity_cid: 48
celebrity_published: 1
celebrity_deleted: 0
            [4] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:46
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: getLinked
SELECT `story`.`sid`, `story`.`name`, `story`.`content`, `story`.`rating`, `story`.`author`, `story`.`ip`, `story`.`email`, `story`.`approved`, `story`.`check_true`, `story`.`temp_name`, `story`.`email_sent`, `story`.`highlighted`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`updated`, `story`.`celebrity_id`, `story`.`celebrity_id`, `story`.`published`, `story`.`deleted` 
FROM story 
WHERE `story`.`published` = :story_published  AND `story`.`deleted` = :story_deleted  AND `story`.`celebrity_id` IN (:where_in__storycelebrity_id_0) 
ORDER BY story.created DESC
Parameters:
story_published: 1
story_deleted: 0
where_in__storycelebrity_id_0: 48
            [5] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:46
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: getLinked
SELECT `tag`.`tid`, `tag`.`name`, `tag`.`slug`, `tag`.`created`, `tag`.`updated`, `tag_celebrity`.`cid` 
FROM tag  JOIN tag_celebrity ON `tag_celebrity`.`tid` = `tag`.`tid` 
WHERE `tag_celebrity`.`cid` IN (:where_in__tag_celebritycid_0) 
ORDER BY tag.created DESC
Parameters:
where_in__tag_celebritycid_0: 48
            [6] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:73
Class: classes\getHtml\latestStories Function: getSidebarHtml
SELECT `story`.`sid`, `story`.`name`, `story`.`content`, `story`.`rating`, `story`.`author`, `story`.`ip`, `story`.`email`, `story`.`approved`, `story`.`check_true`, `story`.`temp_name`, `story`.`email_sent`, `story`.`highlighted`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`updated`, `story`.`celebrity_id`, `story`.`published`, `story`.`deleted` 
FROM story 
WHERE `story`.`published` = :story_published  AND `story`.`deleted` = :story_deleted  AND sid NOT IN (:where_not_in__sid_0) 
ORDER BY created DESC 
LIMIT 3
Parameters:
story_published: 1
story_deleted: 0
where_not_in__sid_0: 150
            [7] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:74
Class: classes\getHtml\randomCelebrity Function: getSidebarHtml
SELECT `celebrity`.`cid`, `celebrity`.`name`, `celebrity`.`dob`, `celebrity`.`image_source`, `celebrity`.`featured`, `celebrity`.`known`, `celebrity`.`nice_percent`, `celebrity`.`mean_percent`, `celebrity`.`ok_percent`, `celebrity`.`slug`, `celebrity`.`updated`, `celebrity`.`story_count`, `celebrity`.`created`, `celebrity`.`updated`, `celebrity`.`published`, `celebrity`.`deleted` 
FROM celebrity 
WHERE `celebrity`.`published` = :celebrity_published  AND `celebrity`.`deleted` = :celebrity_deleted  AND cid NOT IN (:where_not_in__cid_0) 
ORDER BY RAND() 
LIMIT 3
Parameters:
celebrity_published: 1
celebrity_deleted: 0
where_not_in__cid_0: 48
            [8] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:75
Class: classes\getHtml\tags Function: getSidebarHtml
SELECT `tag`.`tid`, `tag`.`name`, `tag`.`slug`, `tag`.`created`, `tag`.`updated`, count(tag_celebrity.tid) AS count 
FROM tag 
RIGHT JOIN tag_celebrity ON tag.tid = tag_celebrity.tid 
GROUP BY tag_celebrity.tid 
ORDER BY count DESC
Parameters:
            [9] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/comment/comment.php, Line:54
Class: module\comment\comment Function: getComments
SELECT `comment`.`cid`, `comment`.`name`, `comment`.`message`, `comment`.`message_uncensored`, `comment`.`ghost_comment`, `comment`.`spam`, `comment`.`anonymous`, `comment`.`created`, `comment`.`author_name`, `comment`.`parent_id`, `comment`.`created`, `comment`.`updated`, `comment`.`uid`, `comment`.`sid`, `comment`.`published`, `comment`.`deleted` 
FROM comment 
WHERE `comment`.`sid` = :comment_sid  AND `comment`.`published` = :comment_published  AND `comment`.`deleted` = :comment_deleted  
ORDER BY created ASC
Parameters:
comment_sid: 150
comment_published: 1
comment_deleted: 0
            [10] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/comment/comment.php, Line:23
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: getLinked
SELECT `user`.`uid`, `user`.`name`, `user`.`email`, `user`.`password`, `user`.`password_reset_key`, `user`.`password_reset_ts`, `user`.`last_login`, `user`.`email_verified`, `user`.`email_verification_key`, `user`.`ip`, `user`.`created`, `user`.`updated`, `user`.`uid`, `user`.`published` 
FROM user 
WHERE `user`.`published` = :user_published  AND `user`.`uid` IN (:where_in__useruid_0, :where_in__useruid_1) 
ORDER BY user.created DESC
Parameters:
user_published: 1
where_in__useruid_0: 
where_in__useruid_1: 
            [11] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/comment/comment.php, Line:24
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: getLinked
SELECT `comment_flag`.`cfid`, `comment_flag`.`reason`, `comment_flag`.`ip`, `comment_flag`.`created`, `comment_flag`.`updated`, `comment_flag`.`cid`, `comment_flag`.`uid`, `comment_flag`.`cid` 
FROM comment_flag 
WHERE `comment_flag`.`cid` IN (:where_in__comment_flagcid_0, :where_in__comment_flagcid_1) 
ORDER BY comment_flag.created DESC
Parameters:
where_in__comment_flagcid_0: 224
where_in__comment_flagcid_1: 1126
            [12] => SELECT count(comment_child.cid) AS total_comments

FROM comment AS comment_child

LEFT JOIN comment AS comment_parent ON comment_child.parent_id = comment_parent.cid

WHERE (comment_parent.deleted = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id IS NULL)
AND comment_child.deleted = 0
AND comment_child.spam = 0
AND comment_child.published = 1
AND comment_child.sid = 150
Parameters:
            [13] => SELECT count(comment_child.cid) AS total_comments

FROM comment AS comment_child

LEFT JOIN comment AS comment_parent ON comment_child.parent_id = comment_parent.cid

WHERE (comment_parent.deleted = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id IS NULL)
AND comment_child.deleted = 0
AND comment_child.spam = 0
AND comment_child.published = 1
AND comment_child.sid = 150
Parameters:
        )

)


                    

                                    forms
                    
Array
(
    [leavecommentform] => Array
        (
            [token] => 8dbf1033188490be988db8e3a95aed5f
        )

)