Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris

10th Mar 1940 (85 years old)
Actor Martial Artist

Said his wife was hot

When I was sixteen my first job was at a Cinemark movie theatre. I was pretty new there, and they had me working as a runner for concessions, meaning I would only fill up sodas and popcorn. I heard someone around me say "Oh my god! Chuck Norris is here!" and being the awesome teenager that I was I immediately quipped "Chuck Norris? I heard his wife is hot!" Right when I say that I turn around to set down a bag of popcorn, and who is standing right in front of me? Chuck. Fucking. Norris. He had this giant shit eating grin on his face. This was before any of his internet stardom, and he was still in the middle of filming episodes of Walker Texas Ranger. I know he heard me say that stuff about his wife, and for a second I thought about the fact that he had studied under Bruce Lee, and had held many martial arts titles in his day (I was sort of obsessed with Bruce Lee at that time), and how he could have easily struck me from across that counter, or pulled me over it, or jumped over it and kicked my ass with an assortment of candies that were beneath me. He doesn't say a goddamn word to me though, just looks me dead in the eye. And winks. Chuck Norris winked at me because I said his wife was hot. He grabbed his popcorn and his drink, and walked away while I stood there dumbfounded and probably ghost white. Since that happened I have not aged a day, which is an eternal curse, because now I'm stuck in the body of a shit headed sixteen year old.
Source
18 Feb
0 Comments
Rated:
NICE
0 Comments

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Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/core/site.php, Line:60
Class: module\navigation\navigation Function: getNavigation
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Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/core/site.php, Line:62
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Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:36
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Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:46
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: get_single
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celebrity_published: 1
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Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:46
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: getLinked
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where_in__storycelebrity_id_0: 48

                                    
Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:46
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: getLinked
SELECT `tag`.`tid`, `tag`.`name`, `tag`.`slug`, `tag`.`created`, `tag`.`updated`, `tag_celebrity`.`cid` 
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where_in__tag_celebritycid_0: 48

                                    
Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:73
Class: classes\getHtml\latestStories Function: getSidebarHtml
SELECT `story`.`sid`, `story`.`name`, `story`.`content`, `story`.`rating`, `story`.`author`, `story`.`ip`, `story`.`email`, `story`.`approved`, `story`.`check_true`, `story`.`temp_name`, `story`.`email_sent`, `story`.`highlighted`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`updated`, `story`.`celebrity_id`, `story`.`published`, `story`.`deleted` 
FROM story 
WHERE `story`.`published` = :story_published  AND `story`.`deleted` = :story_deleted  AND sid NOT IN (:where_not_in__sid_0) 
ORDER BY created DESC 
LIMIT 3
Parameters:
story_published: 1
story_deleted: 0
where_not_in__sid_0: 108

                                    
Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:74
Class: classes\getHtml\randomCelebrity Function: getSidebarHtml
SELECT `celebrity`.`cid`, `celebrity`.`name`, `celebrity`.`dob`, `celebrity`.`image_source`, `celebrity`.`featured`, `celebrity`.`known`, `celebrity`.`nice_percent`, `celebrity`.`mean_percent`, `celebrity`.`ok_percent`, `celebrity`.`slug`, `celebrity`.`updated`, `celebrity`.`story_count`, `celebrity`.`created`, `celebrity`.`updated`, `celebrity`.`published`, `celebrity`.`deleted` 
FROM celebrity 
WHERE `celebrity`.`published` = :celebrity_published  AND `celebrity`.`deleted` = :celebrity_deleted  AND cid NOT IN (:where_not_in__cid_0) 
ORDER BY RAND() 
LIMIT 3
Parameters:
celebrity_published: 1
celebrity_deleted: 0
where_not_in__cid_0: 48

                                    
Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:75
Class: classes\getHtml\tags Function: getSidebarHtml
SELECT `tag`.`tid`, `tag`.`name`, `tag`.`slug`, `tag`.`created`, `tag`.`updated`, count(tag_celebrity.tid) AS count 
FROM tag 
RIGHT JOIN tag_celebrity ON tag.tid = tag_celebrity.tid 
GROUP BY tag_celebrity.tid 
ORDER BY count DESC
Parameters:

                                    
Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/comment/comment.php, Line:54
Class: module\comment\comment Function: getComments
SELECT `comment`.`cid`, `comment`.`name`, `comment`.`message`, `comment`.`message_uncensored`, `comment`.`ghost_comment`, `comment`.`spam`, `comment`.`anonymous`, `comment`.`created`, `comment`.`author_name`, `comment`.`parent_id`, `comment`.`created`, `comment`.`updated`, `comment`.`uid`, `comment`.`sid`, `comment`.`published`, `comment`.`deleted` 
FROM comment 
WHERE `comment`.`sid` = :comment_sid  AND `comment`.`published` = :comment_published  AND `comment`.`deleted` = :comment_deleted  
ORDER BY created ASC
Parameters:
comment_sid: 108
comment_published: 1
comment_deleted: 0

                                    
SELECT count(comment_child.cid) AS total_comments

FROM comment AS comment_child

LEFT JOIN comment AS comment_parent ON comment_child.parent_id = comment_parent.cid

WHERE (comment_parent.deleted = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id IS NULL)
AND comment_child.deleted = 0
AND comment_child.spam = 0
AND comment_child.published = 1
AND comment_child.sid = 108
Parameters:

                                    
SELECT count(comment_child.cid) AS total_comments

FROM comment AS comment_child

LEFT JOIN comment AS comment_parent ON comment_child.parent_id = comment_parent.cid

WHERE (comment_parent.deleted = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id IS NULL)
AND comment_child.deleted = 0
AND comment_child.spam = 0
AND comment_child.published = 1
AND comment_child.sid = 108
Parameters:

                
				
			

		


        

            

                Sessions
            


            

                                    forms
                    
Array
(
    [searchBox] => Array
        (
            [token] => 7de213fb72f2caa427bd0b57741de090
        )

    [sortBy] => Array
        (
            [token] => b1b6ba288a7f9818fbe3f17222c1bf0f
        )

    [leavecommentform] => Array
        (
            [token] => 13cae2bd8c1575976d4d215ea79a503b
        )

)


                    

                                    sortBy
                    
atoz

                    

                                    debug
                    
Array
(
    [queries_run] => Array
        (
            [0] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/core/site.php, Line:60
Class: module\navigation\navigation Function: getNavigation
SELECT `navigation`.`nid`, `navigation`.`parent_id`, `navigation`.`name`, `navigation`.`url`, `navigation`.`created`, `navigation`.`parent_id`, `navigation`.`position`, `navigation`.`created`, `navigation`.`updated` 
FROM navigation 
ORDER BY navigation.position ASC
Parameters:
            [1] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/core/site.php, Line:62
Class: module\navigation_footer\navigation_footer Function: getNavigation
SELECT `navigation_footer`.`nfid`, `navigation_footer`.`name`, `navigation_footer`.`url`, `navigation_footer`.`created`, `navigation_footer`.`position`, `navigation_footer`.`created`, `navigation_footer`.`updated` 
FROM navigation_footer 
ORDER BY navigation_footer.position ASC
Parameters:
            [2] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:36
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: get_single
SELECT `story`.`sid`, `story`.`name`, `story`.`content`, `story`.`rating`, `story`.`author`, `story`.`ip`, `story`.`email`, `story`.`approved`, `story`.`check_true`, `story`.`temp_name`, `story`.`email_sent`, `story`.`highlighted`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`updated`, `story`.`celebrity_id`, `story`.`published`, `story`.`deleted` 
FROM story 
WHERE `story`.`sid` = :story_sid  AND `story`.`published` = :story_published  AND `story`.`deleted` = :story_deleted  
ORDER BY story.created DESC  
LIMIT 1
Parameters:
story_sid: 108
story_published: 1
story_deleted: 0
            [3] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:46
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: get_single
SELECT `celebrity`.`cid`, `celebrity`.`name`, `celebrity`.`dob`, `celebrity`.`image_source`, `celebrity`.`featured`, `celebrity`.`known`, `celebrity`.`nice_percent`, `celebrity`.`mean_percent`, `celebrity`.`ok_percent`, `celebrity`.`slug`, `celebrity`.`updated`, `celebrity`.`story_count`, `celebrity`.`created`, `celebrity`.`updated`, `celebrity`.`published`, `celebrity`.`deleted` 
FROM celebrity 
WHERE `celebrity`.`cid` = :celebrity_cid  AND `celebrity`.`published` = :celebrity_published  AND `celebrity`.`deleted` = :celebrity_deleted  
ORDER BY celebrity.created DESC  
LIMIT 1
Parameters:
celebrity_cid: 48
celebrity_published: 1
celebrity_deleted: 0
            [4] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:46
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: getLinked
SELECT `story`.`sid`, `story`.`name`, `story`.`content`, `story`.`rating`, `story`.`author`, `story`.`ip`, `story`.`email`, `story`.`approved`, `story`.`check_true`, `story`.`temp_name`, `story`.`email_sent`, `story`.`highlighted`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`updated`, `story`.`celebrity_id`, `story`.`celebrity_id`, `story`.`published`, `story`.`deleted` 
FROM story 
WHERE `story`.`published` = :story_published  AND `story`.`deleted` = :story_deleted  AND `story`.`celebrity_id` IN (:where_in__storycelebrity_id_0) 
ORDER BY story.created DESC
Parameters:
story_published: 1
story_deleted: 0
where_in__storycelebrity_id_0: 48
            [5] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:46
Class: helpers\table_queries Function: getLinked
SELECT `tag`.`tid`, `tag`.`name`, `tag`.`slug`, `tag`.`created`, `tag`.`updated`, `tag_celebrity`.`cid` 
FROM tag  JOIN tag_celebrity ON `tag_celebrity`.`tid` = `tag`.`tid` 
WHERE `tag_celebrity`.`cid` IN (:where_in__tag_celebritycid_0) 
ORDER BY tag.created DESC
Parameters:
where_in__tag_celebritycid_0: 48
            [6] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:73
Class: classes\getHtml\latestStories Function: getSidebarHtml
SELECT `story`.`sid`, `story`.`name`, `story`.`content`, `story`.`rating`, `story`.`author`, `story`.`ip`, `story`.`email`, `story`.`approved`, `story`.`check_true`, `story`.`temp_name`, `story`.`email_sent`, `story`.`highlighted`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`created`, `story`.`updated`, `story`.`celebrity_id`, `story`.`published`, `story`.`deleted` 
FROM story 
WHERE `story`.`published` = :story_published  AND `story`.`deleted` = :story_deleted  AND sid NOT IN (:where_not_in__sid_0) 
ORDER BY created DESC 
LIMIT 3
Parameters:
story_published: 1
story_deleted: 0
where_not_in__sid_0: 108
            [7] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:74
Class: classes\getHtml\randomCelebrity Function: getSidebarHtml
SELECT `celebrity`.`cid`, `celebrity`.`name`, `celebrity`.`dob`, `celebrity`.`image_source`, `celebrity`.`featured`, `celebrity`.`known`, `celebrity`.`nice_percent`, `celebrity`.`mean_percent`, `celebrity`.`ok_percent`, `celebrity`.`slug`, `celebrity`.`updated`, `celebrity`.`story_count`, `celebrity`.`created`, `celebrity`.`updated`, `celebrity`.`published`, `celebrity`.`deleted` 
FROM celebrity 
WHERE `celebrity`.`published` = :celebrity_published  AND `celebrity`.`deleted` = :celebrity_deleted  AND cid NOT IN (:where_not_in__cid_0) 
ORDER BY RAND() 
LIMIT 3
Parameters:
celebrity_published: 1
celebrity_deleted: 0
where_not_in__cid_0: 48
            [8] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/story/view.php, Line:75
Class: classes\getHtml\tags Function: getSidebarHtml
SELECT `tag`.`tid`, `tag`.`name`, `tag`.`slug`, `tag`.`created`, `tag`.`updated`, count(tag_celebrity.tid) AS count 
FROM tag 
RIGHT JOIN tag_celebrity ON tag.tid = tag_celebrity.tid 
GROUP BY tag_celebrity.tid 
ORDER BY count DESC
Parameters:
            [9] => Location: /home3/saootcte/meanandfamous.com/app/module/comment/comment.php, Line:54
Class: module\comment\comment Function: getComments
SELECT `comment`.`cid`, `comment`.`name`, `comment`.`message`, `comment`.`message_uncensored`, `comment`.`ghost_comment`, `comment`.`spam`, `comment`.`anonymous`, `comment`.`created`, `comment`.`author_name`, `comment`.`parent_id`, `comment`.`created`, `comment`.`updated`, `comment`.`uid`, `comment`.`sid`, `comment`.`published`, `comment`.`deleted` 
FROM comment 
WHERE `comment`.`sid` = :comment_sid  AND `comment`.`published` = :comment_published  AND `comment`.`deleted` = :comment_deleted  
ORDER BY created ASC
Parameters:
comment_sid: 108
comment_published: 1
comment_deleted: 0
            [10] => SELECT count(comment_child.cid) AS total_comments

FROM comment AS comment_child

LEFT JOIN comment AS comment_parent ON comment_child.parent_id = comment_parent.cid

WHERE (comment_parent.deleted = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id IS NULL)
AND comment_child.deleted = 0
AND comment_child.spam = 0
AND comment_child.published = 1
AND comment_child.sid = 108
Parameters:
            [11] => SELECT count(comment_child.cid) AS total_comments

FROM comment AS comment_child

LEFT JOIN comment AS comment_parent ON comment_child.parent_id = comment_parent.cid

WHERE (comment_parent.deleted = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id = 0 OR comment_child.parent_id IS NULL)
AND comment_child.deleted = 0
AND comment_child.spam = 0
AND comment_child.published = 1
AND comment_child.sid = 108
Parameters:
        )

)